Ford sticks "Boss 335" on the sides of its hottest Falcon in deference to the way we use kilowatts these days instead of horsepower (of which it makes 450, by the way), which is fair enough.
The car's stripes are awful, with a couple of licks on the bonnet, a panel on the side of its ugly and unnecessary boot spoiler and big 'swoosh' down each of its flanks, like a Nike Cortez running shoe and a pretty old one at that.
It's such a shame that the stripes look so naff and the numbers seem a touch out of touch, because the rest of the car is something of a triumph, and while a lot of that triumph is delivered by its remarkable engine, it's the car's chassis that really impresses.
I mean, if a luxury $200,000-plus German autobahn-stormer with similar power and wheel rims has to ride like a tea-tray on a concrete staircase, how does a Ford costing less than half as much seem so calm and composed over bumps and holes?
And although the Falcon has stability and traction control there's no clever electronic stuff to help ride quality, just a subtly firmed set of steel underpinnings up front and similarly refettled control-blade independent suspension at the rear.
While comfort isn't the raison d'etre for a heavily modded sports sedan, pliant suspension is a must when your daily drive is ill- cambered, pock-marked coarse chip, and having had my teeth loosened in something very expensive the week before, I was not looking forward to welcoming the brashly painted uber-Falcon.
I needn't have worried, for though the GT-P is taut, well- balanced and easy to direct through my favourite Southern Alpine backroads, where the tectonically charged foothills bend and twist every thoroughfare, it copes with rough-house corners and divots as if born to them.
All the better to help rein in that tumultuous US-derived "Coyote" power unit, which is 43 per cent Australian.
Ford Australia is making available two versions of the supercharged Boss V8: the GT-P with its horizon-sucking 335kW and 570Nm and a slightly more softly-boosted GS model with "just" 315kW and 545Nm on tap, which is still enough to tweak the bragging rights of Holden's HSV lineup.
I couldn't work out why the new GT-P was so much less cumbersome when turning-in than its less powerful 5.4-litre Triton engined predecessor, then a scan of the engine specs showed me: the alloy supercharged V8 is not only shorter and more compact, tucking much more tightly into the firewall, it's also a massive 47kg lighter than the outgoing block.
Which also counts positively towards its acceleration times. Australian publications which might be a tad less mechanically sympathetic than I, while possibly a touch more parochial, rate the car as a genuine sub-5-second zero to 100kmh prospect, with one making a 4.8 second run. I'd certainly commit to a five seconds or thereabouts time. The noise is worth bottling; a background supercharger whine melds with a familiar four-exhaust V8 rumble to raise appreciative hackles rather than neighbours' ire, I'm happy to report.
You can opt for a Tremec six- speed manual gear box if you wish, but as you'll save no money and there is no point, as the GT-P matches the classic six-speed ZF automatic almost perfectly, although wheel-mounted shift- paddles would have been a nice touch - perhaps it will be a future upgrade.
We don't know how lucky we are in New Zealand, living next door to a throw-back car industry that regularly spits out such beasts as the Ford Performance Vehicles' Falcons and its rival Holden Special Vehicles Commodores. As each company plays technological and horsepower leap frog, fronting up seemingly every few months with something to feed the fires of the Lucky Country's staunch mate- against-mate blue oval versus red lion enthusiasm, the customers are the big winners.
But not for long. It's known that within a few short years, the Falcon will be replaced with a car based on the front-drive US Taurus platform, while Holden only last week opined that without future subsidies Australian GM assembly might have to end.
In the meantime, the GT-P and its HSV equivalents are collectors' items and possible future museum pieces which could well one day sit next to the skeletons of the dinosaurs with which they are compared. Buy yours now while you can.
Complaining to the Ford dealer about what I considered a just about perfect world-class sedan ruined by nasty racing stripes and a silly spoiler, I was calmly told that for the same price I could opt for the GT-E: same engine, chassis and specification but with a tiny boot lip, no stripes and a much tidier front end.
And you know, I would.
AT A GLANCE : FORD FALCON FPV GT-P
* Drivetrain: Front-mounted RWD supercharged 32 valve quad cam 4971cc V8, six-speed automatic. Six-speed manual optional.
* Performance: Max 335kW at 5750rpm, 570Nm from 2200-5500rpm. Zero-100kmh 4.9secs, 13.6L/100km, 324g/km carbon dioxide.
* Safety: Vented 355mm front and 328mm disc brakes, dynamic stability control, ABS, traction control, front, side and curtain airbags, 5-star ANCAP crash safety rating. Parking radar front and rear. Reverse camera optional.
* Dimensions: L 4968mm, H 1453mm, W 1867mm, W/base 2827mm, F/track 1582mm, F/track 1598mm, Weight 1863kg. Fuel 68 L.
* Pricing: Falcon GT-P from $95,990, other FPV products from $66,990. Base Falcons from $48,490.
* Hot: Grunt soundtrack; chassis dynamics; ride quality and ease of driving.
* Not: Awful stripes and spoiler; no paddles for ZF six-speed automatic.
* Verdict: Thunderous sedan offers world class performance in a teenager's tracksuit.
