It takes just one clockwise turn of the 2012 Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG Coupe's weighty black and chrome fob. With that sole click, the C63's hand-built, all-aluminum 6.2-liter V-8 welcomes its commander in one of the most evocative ways possible: by barking raucously.
The bark conveys a lot. It serves as a muscular hello, demanding that I respect the C63's tremendous capabilities. The instantaneous WHOMP! WHOMP! as the Coupe roars through the gears also means my relationship with the asphalt-laden world will be fraught with naughty tendencies. I'm talking Chuck Sheen naughty.
But it takes only a few hundred feet to understand that the C63 AMG isn't just a horn-mad pit bull. Based on the brand's sharp-looking 2012 C-Class Coupe, it's really a puppy at heart. Offering rides with a distinct dual personality is how Mercedes' go-fast division likes to do it, so getting from Point A to B can be as awesome or scary as you'd like in the 63. And when the going gets slow, commutes aren't nearly as frustrating when you're strapped into its bolstered Recaros.
The degree of stress relief -- or adrenaline rush -- all depends on what modes the 2012 C63 AMG's seven-speed MCT transmission (Controlled, Sport, Sport Plus, and Manual) and Electronic Stability Program (ESP On, ESP Sport, ESP Off) are set to. In any mode, at any time, the shifts are smooth and unimaginably quick. Jenson Button impersonators can skip straight to the 100-millisecond-per-shift Manual mode with the most lenient ESP Off indicated on the digital console. With 481 horsepower and 443 of twist below the right foot, it's best you'd train like said Englishman before unbridling the 63.
Over uneven L.A. pavement, the C63's athletically inclined three-link front suspension and wider axle matched to a stiffer sprung and dampened multilink rear setup returned a bumpy, yet responsive ride. Put against the harder current-generation 2011 BMW M3 Competition Package, the Merc's ride is a tinge more civilized, enough that your co-pilot won't complain on an extended road trip. Front and rear track widths grow in the name of grip by an enormous 4.3 and 3.2 inches respectively, but on city streets, this hardly made a difference aside from giving it a lower, more seductive stance that caught a number of discerning stares.
AMG's styling squad is obsessed with subtle details. Three badges -- two pasted on both front fenders, and one opposite of the alphanumeric designation on the trunk -- are the only blatant "I'm special" signs posted on the 63. Other hints are its bulging hood, Autobot-like nose, chiseled side sills, and a sculpted rear diffuser. It's also hard to miss the six-piston 14.2-inch front brakes, quad exhaust, and brilliant LED DRLs. Look even closer and you'll spot the unique grille, darkened headlight housings, and a miniscule carbon-fiber rear spoiler. The C63 continues AMG's clean, simple, and to-the-point design mantra so well that it easily gets overlooked as something more sedate.
Our $81,715 tester's all-black MB-Tex and Dinamica cabin (a leather- and suede-like combo) wore the optional $2590 carbon-fiber trim that gives everything a classier, athletic feeling compared to the garden-variety Coupe. Like the triple-fin diffuser, the flat top and bottom Dinamica-wrapped steering wheel is pure DTM; hands love this helm, especially when hustling through the esses. Another pricey option, AMG's $6050 Development Package, raises top speed to 174 mph from the usual 155 mph limit, colors the calipers lipstick red, and ups horsepower by 30 courtesy of SLS-derived forged pistons, connecting rods, and crankshaft.
Pushing the Coupe on our figure eight proved supremely fun. So fun, in fact, that MT test team hot shoes Carlos Lago and Kim Reynolds tormented the track multiple times just to experience the 63's extraordinary stick and responsiveness. (Side note to potential owners: You'd better think about investing in a Brazilian rubber company, stat.) Its best time of 24.9 seconds at 0.78 g average is something to be proud of, but a cheaper, less potent 2012 Ford Mustang Boss 302 Laguna Seca edges the Merc out by a few fractions (24.6 seconds at 0.81 g average). With a 0-60 mph time of 3.7 seconds, the torquey C63 slaps a twin-clutch BMW M3 in the face (4.2 seconds) and then laughs out loud to the finish line. It bested both to a stop from 60 mph with a distance of only 105 feet.
As expected, the 3800-pound C63 Coupe dances as skillfully on mountain roads as it did at our test facility. The firmer suspension, matched to a palatable helm and grippy rubber, produces highly controllable corner transitions with little slip or slide, specifically in ESP Sport mode. Its heft and an almost too-generous low-end torque doling, however, would put it at a disadvantage against such ballerinas as the Boss or M3.
Like the rest of the crew, associate road test editor Lago didn't find much to dislike about the AMG, but did mention he wasn't fond of how easily it switched into tail-wagging oversteer. Indeed, going easy on the fun pedal allows the car's full performance potential to be tapped. Summon all of the C63's 443 lb-ft too early while exiting a corner and you'll be doing your favorite Formula Drift impressions before you realize it. And although sticky, the available 18-inch Continentals were relatively small (235/40R-18 front, 255/35R-18 rear) and could be wider to improve lateral gluing. Then again, that's what the Black Series is for.
With the C63 AMG Coupe, Mercedes-Benz has dealt a potent, V-8-packed punch to its M, V, Quattro, and F archrivals, months ahead of any next-generation competition. It has also set a high bar. Now if they could only all sound this good...
