2012 Chrysler 200
Despite Eminem's best efforts, the Chrysler 200 (formerly the Sebring) remains a lone, sad reminder of the bad old days when Mopar spent a cold, lonely near-decade as Daimler's whipping boy, then had the marrow sucked out of it by robber barons and hedge fund managers before finally being helmed by a former hardware store impresario who received 100 pennies a year in compensation.
OK, the Caliber might be a worse reminder of that near and evil past, but at least Dodge is officially killing that one. The 200, however, soldiers on. Now, off the record, we've been assured a new C/D segment player will arrive sometimes in 2013, most likely from Italy. But the light blue 200 convertible you see here reaffirmed our feelings that that's two years too late.
Many times, car reviews are nothing but a tale of the tape. If that were the case, numbers would damn the folding hardtop 200 all on their own. Even with the very good new Pentastar 3.6-liter V-6, the 200 Convertible gets to 60 mph in 7.2 seconds. Not a terrible number, but consider that the newfangled engine produces 283 horsepower and 260 lb-ft of torque. For comparison's sake, the Volkswagen Eos makes just 200 hp and 207 lb-ft of twist, yet hits 60 mph in 6.6 seconds.
What about the quarter mile? A ho-hum 15.5 seconds at 90 mph. The real story is the 28 seconds it took to go around our figure eight. That's two-tenths of a second slower than a Chevrolet Traverse. How/why? Beef, and too much of it. How much beef? Are you sitting down? Because like the Chrysler 200 you're entirely too fat? It weighs 4097 pounds. Really, more than 2 tons. Get this: The hardtop four-door 200 weighs 3587. If math ain't your thang, that's 510 more pounds. What? Did they pack it with lard? That's not just heavy; that's grotesque.
2011 Chrysler 200 Limited Cockpit
We suspect the Chrysler boys didn't add firmer bushings to the Convertible version of the 200, and while we initially thought they'd (maybe) change the spring rate, after driving the folding top version, it sure doesn't feel like it. The 200 is sloppy, wallowy, clumsy - basically, if you take everything you like and want dynamically from a vehicle and reverse it, you'd have yourself a Chrysler 200 Convertible. Which is a shame, because we know full well Chrysler is more than capable of making cars that handle very well. (The new 300 jumps to mind, especially that killer SRT8.) Oh, and the top takes about 30 seconds to go up or down. Which is slow.
But again, just in terms of agility and handling, driving the Convertible is like driving the four-door with a spare engine and transmission shoved in its trunk. As a result, body roll, or at least perceived body roll, is atrocious. Turn-in is super-slow; the car feels as if it's falling over on itself before the springs (eventually) overcorrect and send the car back the other way. It's disconcerting, and in this day and age of track-worthy SUVs, inexcusable. Sure, a metal top adds weight when compared to a ragtop, we'll grant 'em that. But how much chassis bracing are we talking about? All of it? That much extra poundage not only kills any semblance of sportiness, but it harshes the ride, something that was actually improved when Chrysler went from Sebring to 200.
While passable as a rental car (but what isn't?), the 200 Convertible isn't passable as a Chrysler. Again, the Dodge, Chrysler, Jeep and Fiat boys (and girls) are on a roll. Their products are not only selling, but they're good. More than being good, Chrysler products are advancing into the realm of special. As in, more than just being transportation, their cars make you happy. The 300 and the Charger, the Wrangler with the Pentastar, the born-again Journey (no, really) and the Fiat 500C with the top folded back and three buddies inside. These are all great cars.
The 200 Convertible, however, is the opposite. To put it in Newspeak, it's ungreat, and therefore does the Chrysler brand no favors. People who rent them will not want to buy them. People who buy the car will consider another brand when it's time for a new car. The sooner Chrysler rids its stable of the 200 (and really, the GS platform that underpins it), the better. The only question left is, Viking-style funeral pyre to burn the evidence, or go all Navy Seal and just dump the carcass at sea?
